"Shattered Reflection"

This poem was a very long time coming. When somebody toys with your innocence, something inside dies. Well, I'm no longer dead inside, and I have no shame whatsoever for the actions taken against me. Recently, I've been able to leave that pain in the past. Part of me did die, but it needed to die in order to move on. I lost the pain, and I'm finally beginning to regain my life. MY life. Thanks be to God.




Who are you
do I know you anymore
you look strangely familiar
yet your reflection barely rings a bell
I look into your eyes
and someone new is peering my way
I know you through and through
so don't front on me now
I know your thoughts
fears
your grand dreams
you never allowed yourself to dream
yep
I even know your deepest hurts
and your secret pain
I do know you
well I used to know you
what has happened to you girl
you're no longer the one I depend on
you used to protect me
held my heart so close to you
so close
there was no room
for anything
or anyone
your fears kept you and me safe
your stubbornness and strength
assured that I would always
put one foot in front of the other
and walk the walk
through sunshine and rain
I have walked
and you were there the whole time
quietly praying
keeping my spirits up
holding me up
when failure seemingly overwhelmed me
lying to my face
if that was the difference
between our life or death
telling me I would be alright
even though your faith was shaky
so why do you abandon me now
why have you left me alone
when you know alone
is the one thing I never want to be
or maybe it is I
who now abandons you
this unfamiliar and slightly uneasy gaze
in the mirror no longer belongs to you
it is mine
your reflection
holds little light for me now
it is broken
and beneath my feet
to put the pieces together again
would give you life
and replenish your light
I no longer recognize myself
and you are becoming a distant memory
who is this new woman
who's boldly invading my space
and looking beyond the old reflection
do I recognize that old reflection
she was but a child
doing her best to stay afloat
in a grown up world
full of hurts
and too many rough seas
she is so tired
and she has done the job God sent her to do
I knew the day would come
when I'd have to release you
I RELEASE YOU
your job is over
and I leave you to take your rest
the words "well done, my servant"
play in my mind right now
it feels good in my soul
it feels good...
©Antoinette Davis
  January 26, 2006