THIS!!! God, where do I even start??? SO
many possibilities!
The
parting of the Red Sea. Parable? Fact? Story handed down from your
drunk uncle? Does it matter at this point? This is one story that will OUTLIVE
the roaches that will rule the WORLD when all else is gone! **waving church
fan** A lot of people take bible stories to be little more than parables, but
what IF this really happened? Could you even IMAGINE??? I don’t need a sea to
part in order to believe in God and His miracles, but just the thought / idea
that this was an event that was actually witnessed fills me with jealousy,
envy, amazement, and wonder. Would I have walked through the sea as the parted
waters hovered above / around me? That might have required more faith than I currently
have. **insert wide-eyed blank stare, and a smirk if you will**
Jesus
feeds the multiples with 2 fish and 5 loaves of bread. Remember
how your grandmother used to cut a cake into like 100 paper-thin, see-through
pieces? Well this right here blows granny out the water! Jesus takes the 2 fish
and 5 loaves given to Him. He holds the food up to the heavens, and says a
prayer over said food. Suddenly, he’s feeding 5000 people! Throwing 2 pieces of
fish on our family table would SURELY result in hand smacks – and possibly even
injuries! I’m just sayin’. So 5000 people?!?! Some versions of this story say
that He even had loaves of bread left after feeding the multitudes. Typing
this, I’ve got my eyes squinted in that skeptical, quizzical manner. I know me,
and I would have been watching like a hawk! I’d have been looking for Keebler
elves dropping fish out tree holes! Yes, Keebler elves are real! It could
happen! All I can do at this point is marvel, and wonder what it would have
been like to be a witness. So Jesus fed the multitudes, and also healed people
in that crowd. Now there’s something granny couldn’t do **insert smirk**. Why
am I so full of smirks? LOL! Literally, laughing for real.
Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. Background story: Lazarus was sick, and
his family called for Jesus to save Lazarus from death. Jesus delayed coming to
Lazarus’ side by a couple of days, and Lazarus dies. The family buries Lazarus, and puts a stone in
front of his grave. Jesus shows up 3-4 days after Lazarus is buried, and his
family is hurt. They blame Jesus for coming too late to save Lazarus. They say they can smell the body of Lazarus
from his grave. I’m telling this story respectfully, but I PROMISE you I have
this crazy, out of order skit going on in my head LOL! Jesus asks the family if
they are still believers, and they say yes, they are. Jesus goes to the grave,
and tells the family to move the stone from in front of the grave. Jesus says “Lazarus,
come forth”, and here comes Lazarus walking out from the grave! Again; KILLING
ME to keep this politically correct LOL! Ok. This is something that would have
solidified my faith. My mustard-sized faith would have grown just as the heart
of the Grinch grew! Ya HEARD me? THIS, I would have LOVED to have witnessed!
Man with no legs flies into…Let me
explain before you send me off to hell LOL! This story was told to my mom by her
friend – who I do not believe was a liar in any way. Gotta say that. SO! My
moms’ friend-who we will call…Angela- was strolling through the mall. A man
with no legs caught her eye. He was atop a board, and had those wooden ‘stumps’
which helped him to move the board he was riding. The man was on the board, and
was going pretty fast from what “Angela” said. WELL! The man was going so fast,
and when he hit the ramp in the middle of the mall – he went airborne! Not ONLY
did he go airborne, but he also smashed, crashed, boom-BANG into one of those
kiosks in the middle of the mall! LMAO!!! I know God would NEVER let me be
witness to something like this! He knows I wouldn’t have had sense enough to
keep my composure! He knows it LOL! But I still wish I could have seen it! After
I stopped rollin’ around on the flo; and
after summoning God HIMSELF to stop the flow of urine – I would have helped
this man! Swear! LOL! But, yeah. TRUST! I wish I had gotten to see this one! What
can I say? To know me is to love me LOL!
I wanted to end this on a
kind of religious tone, but how can I do that after I just told the story of
the man with no legs? Sooooo… I’m out! LOL!
© Antoinette Davis, October
23, 2019
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